As the river runs to find the ocean blue
My heart will always run to find You
This is one of my favorite songs, because it speaks of my desperate need for God in this daily, hourly job called “mom.”
I have days that I call my Calgon days. As in, I need a bucket of calgon. Or a quiet place to run to. Or a big box of chocolates. I’ll text my husband at work the word “Calgon” and he knows it’s one of those days.
We live in a little tiny house with 7 people. We are looking for something much, much bigger, but in the meantime, we are stepping over one another constantly. Or stepping on Legos, tripping over chairs, or pushing stacks of paper and laundry aside.
Besides the space issue, we have 2 very active little boys who need to expend their limitless energy. And a 5 month old baby girl.
Did I mention my 3 year old is the first of my children I would label “strong-willed?” Yes. I must have gotten off very easy on the first three. My time of rest is over. He keeps me on my toes and checks to see if I mean what I say from the time his little feet hit the floor in the morning until he gives up the fight at bedtime each night.
Have you ever tried to potty train a very tough, very persistently-naughty three year old boy while nursing a baby full time?
And did I mention his favorite naughty habit is screaming. I mean screeching. It’s a blend of a scream and a screech. And if he decides to throw a tantrum while I’m nursing the baby, his favorite way is to run to his room and dump out lots of toys. Like Legos. Or Lincoln Logs. Or Hot Wheels.
All. Of. Them.
Despite the chaos that can sometimes pile up in a matter of minutes, I have peace in the very midst of the storm.
I run to the quietest, most private place in my house (which is usually the bathroom) and pour it all out to God. I just hand that stress and frustration over to Him. I am reminded that He sees all, and He will give me the patience to deal with a naughty little boy and lovingly help him pick up the toys and still get dinner fixed (or at least have the bright idea to order a pizza) and put the laundry away and that it’s really not a big deal at all.
Thankfully, my mother taught me to memorize scripture as a young girl, and some very helpful verses just flood my mind in times like these. (It does help to get into a quiet room so you can actually hear the thoughts in your own head.)
There is no way I could do this without the grace of God. So when we sing the above song in church, I really feel those words:
As the river runs to find the ocean blue
My heart will always run to find You
May God’s grace be with you through every minute of every day as you do the small things in life that matter most.
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