On December 4, my Daddy passed away. He was 57 years old.
Dealing with this kind of loss is new to me, but I know many friends who’ve already been through it. Some days I think I must be doing better, and then other days I think I’ll never live through this.
The pain is so real, it’s almost physical.
As many of my readers know, he battled colon cancer last year. At the initial diagnosis, he was given 2 years to live. He went through chemo, and by summertime, he was cancer free and living his normal life. Such excitement!
Then, this fall, he began having some stomach pains, which he didn’t even share with my mom at first, not wanting to worry her. Finally, he decided to go in for a checkup, where they discovered the cancer was trying to return. They decided to attack it agressively.
From that point, everything was a confusing blur. He had complications from the treatment, which resulted in two surgeries in one week. The chemo caused his body not to heal properly from the operations. His kidneys and liver began to fail, and he developed pneumonia.
Six weeks from the time he went to start treatments, he was gone.
I still can’t believe how quickly it all happened. It’s hard to believe he’s really gone. He was one of those people who really lived. He was so FULL of life. Our world is much different without him.
He left behind two daughters and 11 grandkids. I think what makes me the saddest is to think about my younger children who won’t grow up knowing their Grandad.
But I know without a doubt that my Daddy is in heaven, worshipping at the throne of Jesus. He loved God with all his heart. He led many, many people to Christ.
He left a legacy that has been an inspiration to our family and the many people that knew him.
His loss is bittersweet. The pain of losing a parent is very bitter. But the knowledge of where he is now is amazingly sweet. I know he is so happy, and celebrating an eternity free of pain.
If you’ve been through this kind of loss, you already know what we’re going through. Time seems to drag by, and the sadness is at the front of my thoughts all day. I appreciate your prayers for my Mom, my sister, and our family members during this time.
I’ve blogged about my Dad before. If you’d like to know how great he was, and why we miss him so much, read :
http://400things.blogspot.com/2009/10/open-letter-to-my-dad.html
http://400things.blogspot.com/2009/03/children-are-blessing.html
I'm so sorry for your loss. I experienced a similar loss this Christmas. My Dad passed away suddenly and very unexpectedly at 60 years old (it was a blood clot to his lungs, no warning, no clue we would be saying good-bye so soon). I'll be praying for you.
Gabe: I'm so sorry for your loss. I definitely relate. I did have the privilege of knowing it was coming, and getting to say goodbye. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm so thankful for it.
My heart goes out to you and your family. My own dad passed in October and my brother left us on the 12th. You have described every emotion I am going through. Some days are good days I just want to be in a little ball. MY advice, get a bag of hershey kisses and when you being sad eat one (or three) cause all we need is the kiss on the head we are missing ๐ hang in there lady!
Praise God that you have confidence that you will see him once again.
I pray that God will grant you His peace and comfort.
Oh Nicki ๐ I've thought about you a hundred times and had begun to think you must be expecting again ๐ I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Such a wonderful man I'm sure he was! Praise the Lord he had the best Christmas he'd ever had or will have again. I'll be praying for you, dear friend. I can sense your pain and loss mingled with the peace of knowing he's with the Lord.
I am so so sorry for your loss! I just lost my mom in September. That's why I didn't see this until just now. I just didn't have the heart to blog or read blogs for the last few months.